Spirit of Mary Euphrasia

Sr Mary Carroll Spirit of St Mary Euphrasia Award Winner 2010

Good Shepherd Sister Mary Carroll holds the Number 2 green security pass  for a place that few of us would want to be a part of.  Most of us prefer to keep prisons at arm’s length, and not be confronted by the big questions of incarceration, punishment and forgiveness.

But Mary happily flashes her Number 2 pass most days of the week. The pass gets her into the Dame Phyllis Frost Centre, the maximum security women’s prison in Melbourne’s west, where she has spent most of the past 20 years.  Mary ‘moved’ from the old Fairlea Women’s Prison in Fairfield, to the newly-built facility in Deer Park in 1996.

The honour of being the Number 1 pass holder was given to the prison’s namesake, Dame Phyllis, who died in 2004.  She was 87 years old when she died and for much of her life she forced people to consider the plight of marginalised women.  Mary and Dame Phyllis have much in common – champions of an unpopular cause – caring for the needs of women in prison. Mary was the first chaplain to go into the new prison at Deer Park as part of the Catholic Prison Ministry. Many followed and now most religious denominations are represented.

Mary is not concerned about what brings the women to prison. She doesn’t want to know lurid tales of violence and death or of any brazen robberies.  Mary takes the women how she finds them and tries to leave them feeling a little surer of themselves and certain that if no one else cares, God loves them completely and without strings attached. That’s a curious notion to many women in prison – most have been knocked from pillar to post and believe that everything comes at a price.

“I know that the day I start to think about a woman’s crime and pass judgement on her then it is the day I need to give up this work. Most of these women have been judged throughout their lives. Most consider themselves unworthy,” Mary said.  But that day is still a way off.  Mary at 73, is still as committed to ‘being present’ with the women today as she was when she first joined the Good Shepherd Sisters in 1956.

Early Years as A Good Shepherd Sister

Mary’s aunt, Sr Mary of Our Lady of Perpetual Succour, was a Good Shepherd Sister, and a great mentor to Mary, influencing her decision about which order to join. Aunty Kath, as she was known to her niece, had a beautiful singing voice, a ‘gift’ which was not passed onto Mary!  But there were even stronger forces than Aunty Kath at work. Mary knew for most of her early life that she wanted to join a Religious Order and she was inspired by her loving parents Nell and Owen Carroll, as well as the words and actions of St Mary Euphrasia Pelletier, foundress of the Good Shepherd Sisters.

“Mum and Dad gave us so much love. That’s the sort of environment I grew up in. They so loved each other and they loved all of us kids to bits. Both Mum and Dad had a very strong faith in God,” Mary said. There were seven Carroll children (the first, Owen, died soon after birth) and each of them was treated like they were the only child in the world.  Mary Euphrasia lived and worked with women who had not known such love and compassion, but she knew God loved all people and so these women deserved her love, care and respect. Mary Carroll was in fierce agreement!

 What a great launching point for a young woman about to enter a religious order that stood up for marginalised women and children, providing services for them and advocating on their behalf for structural and societal change.

Mary, who now lives in the Good Shepherd Units at Abbotsford, came to the Abbotsford convent to start her Novitiate in 1956 after working as a legal secretary in the city for a few years.  She was professed as a Sister in 1959 and last year she celebrated her Golden Jubilee, surrounded by Sisters, family and friends who have remained great supporters throughout her life.

 As a young Sister she worked with the young girls and women who were living at the Abbotsford convent before transferring to Albert Park where she stayed for several years. Mary was involved in the closing of Albert Park and then transferred back to Abbotsford, where she in turn phased out the section for teenage girls. After a twelve month Sabbatical Mary lived in a hostel with teenage girls.

 “Good Shepherd Sisters did not just close the institutions and send the women out to fend for themselves. Every woman was looked after and a home was found for her. For the women who could not care for themselves, Good Shepherd Sisters continued to care for them and remained committed to them,” Mary said. To this day a small number of these women, now elderly, are still cared for by Good Shepherd.

 Mary recalls the commitment and faithful service of the older sisters. They passed on wisdoms that remain the cornerstone of her prison work – don’t judge, love the woman and every person is worthy of respect, compassion and care. These were the very ideas that shaped Mary and propelled her into prison work!“I cannot tell you how often I have recalled the words of Mary Euphrasia, ‘One person is of more value than the world’,” Mary said.

 Leaving Albert Park

Mary was Directress at Rosary Place in Albert Park and oversaw the closure of the institution in 1973.  Those women who could not live independently were relocated to communities in Bendigo, Oakleigh and Abbotsford. Mary also moved back to Abbotsford, her old stamping ground, and worked as Directress of the girls and women until institutional living at this site was also phased out.

 “I always find it an interesting thing to go back over to the Abbotsford Convent building and recall many of the incidents. Life there was not always easy, but I would not change a thing.  So many funny things happened there, it would take too long to recall them all now. I do remember being the last to leave the parlour when my family came for monthly visits. My young brother was only three and my young sister only one. It was never easy saying goodbye to them,” Mary said.

 The phasing out of institutional living did leave a gap in the lives of many people – the Sisters as well as the women. After phasing out of the large institution Good Shepherd Sisters opened a hostel in Abbotsford.  Mary and others also   identified the need for a hostel in Richmond to help young women make the transition from the Abbotsford hostel  to independent living. So Mary moved a few city blocks from Abbotsford to Burnley and shared a community house with several young women who had lived at the Abbotsford hostel.

The women, including Mary, shared the bills, the household jobs and stories of their day. Mary was immersed in the real lives of the girls, meeting their boyfriends who came to visit and sharing the hopes and disappointments of this new life. The end of the Burnley community in 1978 heralded a new way of life for young people and the Good Shepherd Sisters knew that they too needed to adapt to this new era. Times were changing, but the need to advocate for marginalised women was just as urgent.

 Another reality confronting the Good Shepherd Sisters in the 1970s and 80s was the decreasing numbers of young women entering the Novitiate or, joining the Congregation. A new way had to be found if the vision of Mary Euphrasia and the passion of Mary Carroll were to continue!

Mary believes her great friend and mentor, the late Sr Barbara Davis, strongly influenced how she and many others, made the move into community living with young women.

“Barb had a wonderful vision of how we could best change in order to meet the needs of the young women we were working and living with. She left her mark on a very important part of Good Shepherd history and certainly on how I worked,” Mary said 

Mary Goes to Court

Not all the girls that Mary lived with over the years went on to have happy endings. Some ended up in youth training centres and prisons. Where they went, Mary followed.  After Burnley closed Mary did formal welfare studies and soon started visiting the Melbourne Children’s Court and Winbirra ( a remand centre for female juvenile offenders and young girls awaiting court appearances). Winbirra was opened as part of the Winlaton Youth Training Centre in the Melbourne suburb of Nunawading in 1960.

“I remember one day I was sitting in the Children’s’ Court and a young girl threw a tantrum; she started screaming and trying to tear down the curtains. The Magistrate adjourned court, got up and walked out. I walked over to the girl and put my arms around her to try and settle her. I just wanted to be with her. My being there wouldn’t have made any difference to the outcome of the court case, but I wanted to be present for her, so she knew she was not alone,” Mary said.

It was during this time, the early 1980s, that Mary and another Good Shepherd Sister, Barbara Walsh, went to a meeting of community agencies in Melbourne to discuss ‘gaps’ in the system for young women. These gaps were more apparent than ever because Good Shepherd’s institutions had closed. A lot of the talk at the meeting was about the movement of young women to the St Kilda streets. Needless to say Mary and Barbara decided to cross the Yarra river and check out the St Kilda scene. Once again, where they went, Mary followed, and she and Barbara headed to St Kilda to check out the scene there.

“We started going down to St Kilda every Friday night. We would walk around the streets and meet girls from Winlaton, Winbirra, Turana or the Children’s Court. Most Fridays Barb and I would go to the Bojangles nightclub and just sit and be there in case any of the girls or boys we knew wanted to talk to us,” Mary said.  What a sight that must have been – two Good Shepherd Sisters sipping coffee at the notorious St Kilda nightclub!

One night the two women walked around the streets and found themselves near a murder scene with crowds and police near the body of a man lying on the footpath. A young woman, implicated in the death of the man was being taken away by Police. Mary and Barb immediately realised she needed some support and Mary jumped in the police car and accompanied the young women to St Kilda Rd police complex. Mary later fronted up to court to be with the woman who was eventually freed on the grounds of self-defence. Her family, living overseas at the time of the offence came to Melbourne for the court case. They made it clear to Mary how much it meant to them to know their daughter was not alone at the most vulnerable time in her life.

“Barb and I often got home at 4am after wandering for hours and talking with young people. We wanted to be there for any girls or boys who wanted to talk to us. So many of them gained some comfort from having a person supporting them who wanted nothing at all in return,” Mary said.

“One of the big challenges for us was to be working in their territory. When we Good Shepherd Sisters worked in our institutions or hostels it was on our home ground. But working on the streets was really different for us because we had no control over things in that environment. That was probably a really hard thing for me to come to terms with.”

The Friday night presence eventually developed into a Good Shepherd community in the area and within a few years the St Kilda Community was established. There is now a well-known and regarded service for women in the area.

Many of the young women who Mary knew from St Kilda, Winbirra and the Children’s Court ended up at the Fairlea Women’s Prison in Fairfield. So, of course, Mary followed them there.  She spent years there before it was closed and the women transferred to the new Dame Phyllis Frost Centre in 1996. There was never any question that Mary would transfer with the girls – at least in their minds.

“I remember walking through the corridors at Fairlea as they were preparing to close the prison. I passed a couple of the women talking, saying that it didn’t make any difference to them what prison they had to stay in. As I got nearer to them, one of the girls said to me, ‘doesn’t matter where we go, you will come with us won’t you Sr Mary?’”

 And so she did!

Today

Mary’s days at the Dame Phyllis Frost Centre vary, but she makes sure she is available to any woman who would like to talk to her, Catholic or atheist!  Every Thursday at 4pm Mary, along with some of the women, goes to Mass in the prison. There’s a chaplain’s office that she is free to use as well as interview rooms, but Mary has always opted for a more informal approach. She has access to all parts of the prison and she wanders, without any sense of fear or trepidation, around the prison seeking out women who have asked to see her and being available to newcomers.

Mary sits with the women and listens to them, hears their stories of hardship and marvels that they can keep going. Some of the women come back to the prison time and again and she welcomes them joyfully, not judging them for reoffending.

As well as the prison at Deer Park Mary also visits the women at Tarrengower, the minimum security prison at Maldon.

Not much surprises Mary and she has heard things that would rival the tales played out on television’s Underbelly. But all the stories, names and closely guarded secrets will go with her to the grave!

“Sometimes I wonder if I have done any good, have I made any difference to the lives of the women?” Mary asked.  But who can measure such things and why?  Isn’t it enough to just be with a woman when most of society has condemned her?

Mary loves rainbows because they are filled with colour and remind her of God’s promise. One prisoner once told her that whenever she sees a rainbow she is reminded of Mary and of God’s promise of love. Perhaps that’s measure enough!

“There are difficult moments in the prison when I wonder what Mary Euphrasia would do if she were here now with this woman. And then I know the answer – she would just hang out with the woman, be present with her,” Mary said.

Mary has one ambition that has motivated her since she joined the Good Shepherd Sisters and that is to try and instill in each woman a belief that they are worthwhile. She uses the Gospels to illustrate to the women that God knows everything about them, even their darkest secrets  – and He still loves them! Some of the women are taken aback by the suggestion that God could possibly love ‘them’.

“One day I had spent a long time talking to one of the women and she hurriedly got up apologising for talking to me for so long. I told her that she was the most important person in my life at that moment and there was nowhere that I had to be that was more important than sitting with her,” she said.

Going Strong

Mary still works four days a week in the prison.  She keeps Mondays free for former prisoners, or women on home detention, who she might meet up with.

“There is a saying, ‘but for the grace of God, there go I’,” Mary said. “I never really understood that when I was young. But after all the years of working in prisons I say that with so much more meaning and I believe it to be so true. I was given the gift of a most loving family and did not have to struggle like so many of these women have to.”

Mary doesn’t understand how some of the women she knows in prison can keep going day after day – their suffering is overwhelming. She doesn’t believe she would have the strength and determination to face the sorrows and hardships that many women in prison have endured.

Mary has no immediate plans to retire. She still has an enviable belief that she is in the right place, serving the women as she was first asked to serve more than 50 years ago. And while she has given much over the years, she has received abundantly.

“I have such a sense of gratitude for all that I have been given and all that I still receive. I was born into a family who loved deeply. I was also given the gift of faith and that faith has given me strength every day of my life,” she said.

“My love of Jesus the Good Shepherd and St Mary Euphrasia is with me every day of my life.”

It is clear how Mary feels about the women she spends most of her days with, and she shows it by following them wherever their life journey leads them, whether that place be a dark place, or a place filled with love. But how do the women see Mary? How would she like to be remembered by them? 

For Mary it’s simple, “I would like to be remembered as loving, prayerful and accepting.”

Surely such a legacy would make St Mary Euphrasia proud of one of her own.